Vibrators Buyers Guide
Hysteria was a catchall diagnosis applied to all manner of female maladies and tempers as far back as ancient Grecian times. Tired? Hysteria. Grumpy? Hysteria. Disobeyed your husband? Double hysteria. And it was such a convenient diagnosis that it hung around all the way up until it was finally removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in 1980! In the mid-17th century, it was decided that hysteria was caused by a buildup of excess fluids in women and it could only be cured through hysterical paroxysms. Doctors suggested that women marry and have sex with their husbands. Should that prove to be impossible or if the married lady continued to suffer, doctors took things into their own hands. They performed “uterine massages” manually for about 200 years until Dr. George Taylor finally decided he simply couldn’t keep up with the parade of women coming through his mysteriously popular clinic. And thus, out of misguided medical practices and technology-assisted laziness, the vibrator was born! Blessed be!
Since that time, we’ve learned to power our vibrators without steam, thankfully, and advances in technology have allowed us to create vibrators of every shape, size, material, function, and power level. Vibrator vets and newcomers alike are treated to such modern sex toy tech as Bluetooth and app compatibility, allowing partners to titillate each other from continents away using their smartphone, or suction functionality, which teases the clitoris via air waves, or touchscreen control, which lets users swipe through modes like dating app prospects! We are truly living in the future of pleasure products, and The Vibed is always keeping an eye out for what’s coming next.
If you’ve never owned a vibe before or you’re looking for a new experience or a gift for a playmate, let us help you sort out what’s shaking in the vibrator world. You’ll find that there are vibrators to fit every possible personal need and preference. When shopping, consider the girth, length, shape, firmness, texture, level of realism, and even color you or your partner might enjoy. While it’s wise to go into any shopping venture knowing how much you’d like to spend, bear in mind that high-quality products that are body-safe may cost more than what you may find on bargain websites. Your health and safety should take top priority. Not all vibes and all materials are created equal in that respect. We here at Vibed hand select products from manufacturers who use only the best, non-toxic materials available.
What should a beginner look for in a vibrator?
For your first vibrator, try an item you won’t need much instruction to use. Intro vibes are designed to be simple in form and function. They have a minimalist design that makes them intuitive to use, durable, and easy to clean. For example, the Callie Mini Rechargeable Waterproof Wand Vibrator by Jopen has a simple one-button (or one-jewel) design to deliver seven modes of waterproof vibration in a smooth, straight, small silicone body. It shows off high-end looks in a simple device that won’t break the bank, making it an opportune item to help you satiate and explore your desires.
Is it easier to orgasm with a clitoral vibrator?
While experts disagree on the exact percentages, they do agree that more women are able to achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation than through penetration alone. If your clitoris is your ultimate power button, treat it to a vibe that is designed just for it. One of our favorites is the Mimic by Clandestine Devices. This little gadget looks like no vibe you’ve ever seen before. Its ergonomic design features wings that make it look like a stingray in flight and allows you to easily rock the device forward or back for just the right amount of stimulation. It also has a handy travel lock to keep your cute little stingray from coming to life in the TSA line at the airport. *cringe*
Which vibrators reach the G-spot?
All you need to give the G-spot attention is a little curve right at the tip and some rumbly vibes. That curved tip allows you to put just the right amount of pressure on that magic spot without bending yourself into a pretzel to reach it. The Pillow Talk Racy by BMS Factory is a mini vibe with a flexible head for more customizable reach. It’s also rechargeable so you can stop stealing the batteries out of the remotes. And with its quilt-like textured handle, silky feel, and Swarovski crystal power button, this vibe also qualifies for luxury status (more on that later).
What are rabbit vibrators?
Rabbit vibes are a two-in-one pleasure package that delivers blissful vibrations both internally and externally (and sometimes at two different intensities and patterns). Basically, rabbit vibrators are any vibrators that have both a shaft (straight or curved), and an attachment “ear” or two near the base that curves back over the body to stimulate the clitoris. The CalExotics Rocking “G” Rabbit Vibrator is a great example that has a clever angled shaft along with seven playful vibration functions and three G-spot massaging speeds. Adopt one and name it Roger. Or Jessica.
I'm curious to try an anal vibrator, but I’m a little nervous.
It’s far past time to remove anal pleasure from the taboo list forever. You’re here shopping with us because you’re looking for the ultimate orgasms, right? Let us let you in on a secret: your butt is a gold mine of sensitive nerves. Treat it well and gently (there’s no such thing as too much lube) and you will be rewarded with orgasms so powerful that they shift the paradigm of your sex life forever. There’s really only one hard and fast rule about anal vibes that we suggest you never break: anal toys must have a flared base or extension for easy retrieval. There, we just saved you from an experience that no one wants to explain to the ER staff.
To that end, allow us to suggest the b-Vibe Trio. This top-tier butt plug contains not one, not two, but THREE bullets to ensure that each sensitive region of this richly erogenous zone gets attention. The bullet in the steam tickles the rim, while the bullet in the body rumbles the interior, and the bullet in the tip teases deep inside, especially the prostate, for those who have one.
What’s the deal with wand vibrators?
Wand vibrators are a sex toy staple partially because they are (accidentally) one of the first mass-produced vibrators, but also because they still deliver by today’s standards! Designed as personal massagers in the 70s, the original Hitachi Magic Wand attracted many vulva-owning buyers for vaginal pleasure! Its thick, round head atop a large, plug-in body delivered powerful vibrations that rumbled deep throughout women’s pleasure zones. Most sex toy manufacturers continue to adopt some version of the wand in their repertoire. Vibratex still makes the Original Magic Wand to great acclaim, only slightly updated for modern users.
What about bullet vibrators?
Bullet vibes are so named because of their size and shape relative to other, bigger vibes. But, it’s not the size of the boat that matters, it’s the motion of the motor. Bullet vibes are small enough to slip in your purse, pocket, or even panties for on-the-go enhancement and powerful enough to bring you all the way home during that sweet, sweet alone time. We like the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet for its 20 vibration modes, magnetic charging, and memory function that allows you to hit the bullseye every time.
What is the function of an egg vibrator?
You’re a mover and shaker. They’re movers and shakers. And you can move and shake together wherever you go! Egg vibes are just that: small, egg shaped bullets that can be worn out and about (they usually have a handy remote), used internally for great G-spot stimulation, or held in hand like a lipstick vibe to bring the tickle to your most sensitive erogenous zones. The Nu Sensuelle Petite Vibrating Remote Control Egg offers several twists on an otherwise simple concept. You can control this egg vibrator by remote control, making it great for partner play along with a body-safe silicone body and rechargeable battery.
How do finger vibrators work?
Finger vibes slip over or between the fingers and can turn any massage up to eleven. Fingers are fantastic. They can pinch, caress, pet, and spank like nothing else. We’ve been using them to get ourselves and each other off ever since we grew a thumb. But brains are even better and some really great brains have figured out how to make our fingers more effective than the original design. The Fin by Dame Products tethers to two fingers to comfortably direct three speeds of vibration across your vulva as intuitively as your own hand would.
What is a thruster?
Thrusting vibrators replicate the in-out action of real penetrative sex by incorporating a motorized extending and retracting shaft. There’s no need to crank your wrist with these pleasers! For the ultimate in thrusting speed, try the Essenza by Femmefunn. This soft silicone rabbit vibrator that’s curved for the G-spot has a shaft that thumps up and down in seven modes with a top speed that only NASA can compete with.
What makes a vibrator a luxury vibrator?
In a technical sense, all sex toys are “luxury” items. But just like there’s a difference between a bargain shoe and a Louboutin, there’s a difference between a basic vibe and a luxury vibe. In general, luxury vibes are those made of the highest quality materials with the best motors and have exceptional thought and consideration put into the shape and functionality of the unit. And of course, all the high-tech functionality you would expect from living in the 21st century. And a little bling doesn’t hurt either.
Chance by Viotec goes beyond these criteria with its one-of-a-kind interactive touchscreen. Turn on the G-spot vibrator with its Swarovski crystal button, then swipe across the touchscreen through 6 vibration patterns at 3 intensities each. You can see and select your preferred mode and level in real-time while monitoring battery life as well! Haute couture, for sure!
Can vibrators look realistic?
If realism is your thing, there’s a vibe for that. Realistic vibes feature lifelike shapes, soft skin, and those toe-curling veiny textures. Pair all of that with deep, rumbling vibrations and you’ve got yourself a little bit of nature and a whole lot of nurture. King Cock by Pipedream makes some of the most impressively lifelike dildos and dongs we’ve seen. Their generously sized vibrators are endearingly squishy, yet firm, just like a real hard-on, with painstakingly detailed veins, coloring, wrinkles, and all you’d expect from a real penis, complemented by vibration and a sturdy suction cup.
How do I wear a “wearable” vibrator?
Wearable vibrators go where you go by various means. Panty vibrators like the My Secret Panty Vibe by Screaming O feature a pocket to slip a bullet vibrator inside, operated with a remote control either by you, or for the adventurous, by your partner! Wearable vibrators provide the unique thrill of handing control to somebody else, even in public, for a truly exciting experience.
Are suction vibrators as amazing as I hear?
Yes, they are. While vibrations alone are the certified standard of sexual pleasure, suction toys replicate some of the best techniques of oral sex to trigger ongoing orgasms that other toys don’t. Pleasure Air technology by Womanizer and ROMP does this by surrounding the clitoris with a silicone hood and gently sucking at various patterns without touching the skin. The result is a gratifying experience hailed by Buzzfeed, Cosmopolitan, and countless other mainstream publications.
How do Bluetooth vibrators work?
Bluetooth vibrators close any distance, whether it’s one room over or another hemisphere! They accomplish this by pairing with your smartphone, allowing partners to control vibrations with an app. The Moxie by We-Vibe is one such toy that fastens magnetically to a pair of panties and connects to the We-Connect app. Your authorized partner can use the app to choose from existing vibration patterns, customize their own vibration patterns, match vibrations to a song, or freestyle vibrations completely! Your partner may be far away but they’ll feel as up close and personal as possible!
No matter what your tastes, we have a vibe that will fit the bill. High tech, simple, inside, outside, or dual, there is a vibrator for everyone. And no need to stop at just one!