Just because you or your partner may not have a penis doesn’t mean you can’t act like it! There are plenty of sexual avenues to explore without a penis, even penetration, but strap-ons allow you to make a dildo a part of your body. With this simple mounting system, you get to try every intimate position that’s on your mind, to reverse roles with your partner, to perform in the gender role you prefer, and more! Strap-ons and harnesses come in many shapes and styles to appeal to lesbian, straight, and non-binary couples of all experience levels.

What do I need to start having strap-on sex?

You’ll need a dildo that fits snugly and securely into the harness you’ve chosen, usually via an O-ring mounting system. This can take some mixing and matching. If you want to start right away without worrying about customization, consider a standalone strap-on harness in which the dildo is attached to the strap. The Easy Rider from Strap U by XR Brands has a 7-inch dong securely fastened to a base plate for quick, simple, easy use.

Are there customizable strap-on starter kits?

If you want the whole package in one purchase while allowing room for customization, try a kit with both the dildo and harness included. This allows you to use both parts at once or independently as you find new uses for them. The King Cock Strap-On Harness and 6” Cock features both a sturdy vinyl harness with O-ring mounting system and suction cup PVC dong.

How do I know if a dildo will fit my strap-on harness?

Dildos usually mount to a strap-on harness by slipping the dildo’s flared or suction cup base through the harness’s O-ring. Check the O-ring’s measurement and the toy shaft’s diameter to be sure the O-ring is wider than the toy. The snugger the fit, the more stable the dong will be during sex. Some harnesses, like The Regal Empress from CalExotics, come with multiple O-ring sizes to accommodate to multiple dildo sizes!

Are there other strap-on mounting systems aside from O-rings?

Some sex toy manufacturers produce dildos and harnesses with specialized mounting systems to ensure compatibility. This way, your strap-on will hold as securely as possible, even while incorporating vibrations. Doc Johnson’s Vac-U-Lock system, for example, allows any compatible toy to lock directly onto a mounted plug quickly and easily. The Supreme Harness comes with a vibrating Vac-U-Lock plug that turns any compatible toy into a lightning rod of pleasurable rumbles!

Which strap-on is best for pegging?

Pegging is a loose term for penetration role reversal between straight cisgender couples. Any dildo and any harness will work, depending on your desires. A P-spot dildo like that in the Strap U Navigator by XR has a curved shaft and bulbous head to slide against the prostate with every thrust. Or if you’re a beginner to pegging and anal penetration as a whole, you may want to start with a slim, short dong, like the 5.5-inch-long, .87-inch-wide one in the Newcomers Strap-On by Sportsheets.

Are strap-on harnesses comfortable for long-term wear?

Harnesses come in all different materials and shapes. Most are made of vinyl, leather, or polyester straps, which can be cumbersome outside of their intended use. But some harnesses, such as those in the Em.Ex. Collection by Sportsheets, resemble panties or briefs. A rubber O-ring embedded in the crotch holds flared-based dildos in a simple, lightweight, comfortable pair of underwear. Stretchy elastic dodges the complexity of snaps or D-ring-adjustable straps, making for fully functional strap-on activewear!

Do strap-ons feel good for both partners? Perhaps some more than others?

Many strap-on wearers enjoy the pressure of the dildo against their pelvis as they penetrate their partner. It’s also common for harnesses to have a pocket built to hold vibrating bullets for extra stimulation. But if you want to feel all the same pleasure as your partner, try a double-sided strap-on. The Power Pegger from Strap U by XR has all the mutual pleasure of a double-ended dildo with the control of a harness and added vibration! The wearer’s dong is shorter and placed lower for G-spot targeted pleasure without going too deep.

How do strapless strap-ons work?

A strapless strap-on may not be semantically sound, but it is a mechanically clever device! Somewhere between a strap-on and a double dildo, they feature a dildo on one end of a flexible elbow with a short bulb on the other end to anchor inside the wearer’s vagina. No straps, just penetrative pleasure for both participants. The ambitious Strap U 10X Evoke Ergo-Fit by XR even features a remote-controlled inflatable function to ensure proper fit for the wearer as both partners experience internal vibrations!

Can cis men and other penis owners wear strap-ons?

Even if you have a penis, there is still function to wearing a strap-on! Hollow strap-ons slip over the penis for comfortable wear, even with a cock in the way. Hollow strap-ons can act as a penis extender for couples who want to play with a longer penis, or they can assure penetrative play for those experiencing erectile dysfunction. The Sir Richard’s COMMAND harness includes a hollow King Cock dildo for 8 inches of strap-on play.

They say you need to have the right tools for the job, and if the job is expanding your sexual play to all-new roles and positions, a strap-on is the right tool!